I've lived with depression for a large part of my life... but it went undiagnosed and untreated until about 5 or 6 years ago. Even with treatment it's getting worse... there are times when things get better but for the most part each day is another struggle. Why am I writing about this? I don't want pity, sympathy or even someone to tell me to get a grip. I've met a lot of people (on & offline) that have depression or knows someone that does. I'm open & honest about the depression because in many ways depression is still viewed my many people as just being an excuse for laziness and anyone that has had it knows this isn't true. Depression takes away so much from a person; potential, creativity, life, love. It eats away at the soul and leads to other conditions such as agorophobia and panic attacks.

[I have to have a break from this].

Current Mood: crappy

I've been wanting to write down my thoughts all day but haven't done so for a few reasons. I don't want to sound whiney... esp as there are those that reckon that all i do is whine & complain.

I'm losing the fight against my depression... it's tempting to just stay in bed and sleep... it's eating me up (like a cancer) and I really don't know where I end and it begins. The last little bit of me that's left is still fighting to win but I'm getting tired of fighting this every day.

[breaking here to put Brandon to bed]

Current Mood: depressed

snagged from overworked

Your Husband Generator by Lady_Galadriel
Name
Your Husband Is
You Met	at a cheap café
You Have	1 child
You Live	sweden
In	a normal semi-detached house
You And Your Partner Are Best Known For	your wild sex romps anywhere and everywhere
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Current Mood: amused

The BDU Convention has been and gone. I almost missed out going altogether. We all slept through the alarm and I missed the train to Central. Lucky for me a friend came through and drove me to the airport with time to spare. Loves ya Robyn. xoxox

Melbourne was fantastic, until the Monday that I came home. Then it poured. Well it'll take much more than a down pour to make me melt. "I'm melting. I'm melting".

Back to the con; James was all that was promised and more. Sexy, articulate, intelligent, passionate, sincere, funny and very snuggly. More on that later.

I met up with many fellow Mozzies & BDUers... there was little if any uncomfortable silenceswhen meeting up with online friends.

Anyways... I still haven't put all my thoughts together yet about Melbourne, James & the con. Will do so sometime soon.

well I have a lot to do on & offline this week. I have websites to work on, I need to list things for sale at ebay, put the next issue of Raven News out, breath some life into the groups & rings that I own, work on my altar (sidenote: Rob hung my broom up today; it looks great!) yadda, yadda, yadda. One day I may stop chasing my arse and actually be ahead for a change.

I need to see the doc about my meds. They aren't working well anymore. I'm not sure whether I want to stay on the meds anymore.

anyway enough dribble for now

Bron

Current Mood: contemplative

I finally decided to sign up at LJ :) Now I'm working out what to say & do here. This is my second attempt at maintaining an online journal; hopefully this one won't be cancelled due to inactivity. It's not that I don't have anything to write about; I just don't know how much to include or not include.

10 days left until I go to the BDU Convention in Melbourne; yaaaaaaaaaaay. I'm so looking forward to time away from the kids/family; it'll be a chance for me to let my hair down (what there is of it). I can't wait to meet up with some of my mates from BDU/MoZ, such as the ever lovely Wajoma. :) I'm getting my lips all ready to meet her ;) lol

Current Mood: cheerful